Tuesday, April 14, 2015

New beginnings every day

Sunrise at Crystal Beach
I've been a Christian my whole life, even when I didn't act like one.  I know that there is so much I still need to learn, and every day is a new beginning and a new realization.  These past few weeks have brought such an awareness that it's not ME that does ANYTHING.  It is only God through me.  So I want to listen, I want to know what HE wants me to do, and I want to let HIM come through.  On my own I can't do anything at all.  NOTHING.  If you know me, you know what a hard concept that is to grasp.  My love language is acts of service.  If I can't do anything for you, I feel useless.  So God has really been speaking to me about this.  There is nothing I can do!!!  I have to let HIM do it.  It's been surprisingly easier than I thought it would be.  I still have my moments.  I still struggle with thoughts of what I can do and how I can work this out.  Then I hear Him say STOP IT.  I GOT THIS.
I've been reading quite a bit and it seems almost everything is directed to what I am dealing with right now - the fear, letting go of it, financial struggles, unknown futures - and it is so comforting to know that God sends me exactly what I need to read/hear.  Lysa TerKeurst with Proverbs 31 Ministries is awesome.  She speaks right to me at every level.  I read this yesterday and it is so applicable to what I am dealing with, so I wanted to share:
Some days I struggle with trusting God. I want Him to do something specific and I'm get concerned He won't or not soon enough. I'm not great at waiting. I get scared. I get tired. I get worried. I want to take control but when I push for what I want, and it's not God's best, I always end up with regret.
So, I'm praying these words with a heart that wants to trust. With a heart that knows the center of His will is the safest place for me to be: Lord, I choose to trust You will give me what I need, when I need it.
So powerful!  So true!  Don't we all do this?  It's the reason our lives end up in a mess.  I don't want to be a mess anymore.  I want God to work through me and show the world what He is capable of.   We went to Promise Church on Sunday and the message was from Amos 3:3 - how two cannot walk together unless they are in agreement.  We must be in agreement with God in order to maintain our walk with Him.   I'm so thankful I am finally figuring out what that means in my life.

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